Quality of concern

Sometimes all it takes to judge you is the way you feed your dog. You can hurl its feed from a mere distance, just about distant enough to be disrespectful. Or you can bend down to its reach and feed it from there. Both are ways to feed the dog. Both the ways the dog’s needs are met. Both are actions beholding your compassion to the mammal, with just one alone showing the quality of compassion. The former shows your inflexibility while being there for a loved one; probably a little amount of disdain even if subtly so. Your arching spine in the latter shows the tendency to be empathetic while chipping in for a close one.

I’ve got this friend, who likes to wear his devil-may-care attitude like a badge of honour. He is someone who would genuinely go off like an alarm, when a friend puts a wrong foot forward. A selfless trait I admire, but seldom possess. Notwithstanding the willful good Samaritan that he is, surprisingly-more often than not-I’ve seen him alienating his friends, who’ve felt shot down by his hurtful words;as well-intentioned as they were.

Most of us are sensory people. Intellectual as some of us like to flatter ourselves to be, we still need to get appeased at a sensory level by an impulse, to let it permeate into our intellectual realm. A song might be beautifully worded. But all it takes is a bad tune, for it to get rejected at the listening itself. Forming thus a veil of predisposition in our mind about every other aspect of the song including the meaning withheld, precluding the catharsis from happening.

Words of advise are like pale nutrition that need to dressed as a feast to allure one to consider a course of action, different from the one he’s resorting to from the confines of his comfort zone. If the feast exudes the stench of the giver’s ego; nutritious as it might be; the chances of it coming across palatable turns bleak.

We are bags of egos, that needs to be appeased once our sensory gates are forged for any subject matter to make sense. That’s why when a friend calls us fat, we take offense. It is our ego that is reacting from within. It becomes defensive when attacked by his words, that seem to originate from his ego. So what should’ve essentially been an advise that should’ve kindled the intellect; turns into a battle of egos. Probably even results in a war of words.
Instead had the same friend rephrased his intention to, “You’re capable of looking better with a few pounds lesser” he would’ve massaged the ego, leading to a conversation than a collusion.

Most of us as naive as we might be, operate from the vantage of our egos. Egos are competitive animals, who barely let go off an one-upmanship opportunity. A harsh word or a sarcastic remark often comes from a ego placed higher, enticing the impacted ego to rise up to its level or higher to hit back. Blinded by ego, the intellect loses path from here.
Which is why, it is paramount to sugar coat an intention with a kind word or two. For most of us wouldn’t fit into the sagely category of men who know to sieve an intention out of the spoken word, serrated as it may hit the ears.

Opinions are the lens that color our vision, which flow from the eclectic pool of our knowledge and belief.They often tend to be disparate from the opinions of others, given the individuality each one of us are bestowed with.Empathy and understanding form the bridge that brings about their coexistence.

It is just not with our love, but the manner in which we express it to our dear ones that we become the person they want to prove right or wrong. 


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