There was a personal thing which I was hoping against hope to not happen and vowed a trip to Tirupathi in barter for its inoccurrence. As rational as we portray ourselves, when there are situations which manifest out of nowhere to catch you off-guard and the vulnerability comes from the uncontrollable realm, it is only fair to seek means to mitigate from the same panorama.
As cool as I felt proclaiming myself to be an atheist and then an agnost for a while then, I could realise the crops of faith growing resiliently on the field of my indifference. It is humbling to accept the wisdom of self realisation to emerge out of the pretentious molar of false ego Meanwhile,my wish was granted and it was my turn to embellish my promise with honour of action.
I could have have gone to the safe confines of reason & karma over the arduous trip,once the miracle happened. The motion to honour a commitment from a position of strength in the future is a virtue that adds the dimension of gratitude, which serves as a beacon of reassurance on the face of an avalanche of uncertainity.
Superstition I could call this. To some touching the nose tip before switching on the PC every time at work, to some adjusting the abdomen guard while the bowler’s in his run up and to others a trip to a temple. So what’s the big deal?
Superstition is after all a speck of sentiment that snowballed under the impetus of emotions into its existence. It isn’t fair to belittle sentiment in the quest for utopian approval, for the heart derives the very fabric of empathy from there to turn the otherwise collage of organs to what is generically called, being human.
Few years back I swore to never return to this cash cow of a temple peeved by the impersonal vice of commercialism. This time around the place was as cold as last time with fog & commerce, tonsured adults sweating it up to make a fortnightly bather like me feel secure about his hygiene. But this trip wasn’t about ego satiation or ideal massage,this was for the favour of miracle bestowed upon in a timely manner-a thanksgiving of sorts.
The person didn’t change, so did the adamant place. But what changed was the perspective. For perspective has made the holocaust of an entire race humane,consumption of fish vegetarian to some and fasting religious to others.
From seeing a stone in a deity , I had come to see hope & gratitude instead.
In Tirupathi, you witness this paradox of free men encaging themselves for hours together with the enthusiasm of a draught struck farmer to the first drop of rain. Call it subservience emulating out of the chastity of generations of unquestioned faith, but the meditated air of euphoria in the most challenging human circumstances for those few fleeting seconds before the deity kilometres away is contagious.
The almighty is a good place to invest gratitude, provided the awareness isn’t overtly naive for it isn’t desirable to relish indulgence in a way of life, overlooking the reason that led to it.
Every trip when embarked on with purpose kindles a hidden facet from within. This Tirupathi trip made a calmer person out of me who learnt to embrace things which he couldn’t understand, without feeling insulted